Only a match made in heaven if somebody kills me first

When I started this blog, I mentally made a promise to myself to try not to be mean spirited or to talk about dating. This post might be a little bit of both. I live in a very nice looking condo. However, it has walls made out of tissue paper and floors made out of something else that has really good noise conduction/really bad sound insulation. My downstairs neighbor and I have a significant difference of opinion on how loud he should be. I asked nicely once, and passive aggressively twice, and he basically told me he had no intention of being considerate and neighborly and turning his music/sound system/chasing his dog around and making weird noises down. I think he plays Call of Duty on Tuesdays and Thursdays (with the headset), turns his hip hop music on at 9 am (he wants to be a "balla, shot calla, 20 inches rims on my Impala") on the weekends, and apparently my tiny request that he turn the bass down a tad has "ruined his enjoyment" of football. I contemplated multiple options of revenge and retribution. I gallop and stomp around in my heels. I pondered poisoned baked goods, but such a waste of baked goods for such a meanie. He has old lady perfume as an air freshener or incense or something and it wafts through our shared duct work and inexplicably under my kitchen sink. It makes me want to keep the heat off and wear three sweaters. And earmuffs to block out the noise. It makes me literally crazy. The other thing that makes me crazy is internet dating. Dr. Neil Clark Warren's personality algorithm matching system is all kinds of broken. Because I got matched up with my downstairs neighbor. True story.