It is my belief that Hallmark has a card for everything, from the most obscure “holidays” (Sweetest Day, for example) to a card for your biracial atheist foster nephew on his Bar Mitzvah. I went in looking for just a nice blank card to send to a family to let them know I am thinking of them. I didn’t want a get well card, or a sympathy card, because neither really was the correct sentiment. Sadly, all the get well cards had Snoopy or a gorilla on them. So since I wasn’t finding anything suitable, and in fact was finding cards that were blatantly inappropriate for my purposes, I decided I would instead pick up an engagement card for my friends who just got engaged. I assumed that Hallmark had not gone totally 2011 and started making engagement cards for boys who get engaged to boys, so I was scanning the cards for the least clearly male and female iconography I could find. Lo and behold, there is a congratulations on your commitment ceremony card. Close enough, and I’ve never had a problem with card modification. But then I looked closer at the card. The front message said something along the lines of, “the love between you has always been good and right and true.” Totally 100% agreed. Amen. But rather creepishly validating. Something the conservative aunt and uncle might send, not the hip gal pal. I feel like Hallmark kind of failed me today. I may need to upgrade to Papyrus.
Incidentally I’m typing this in MS Word due to my internet and cable not working. This is what I get for being organized and calling Comcast today to cancel service at the end of the month. I feel like Laura Ingalls Wilder (whose books I hated as a child). In a world with awkwardly-sentimented greeting cards.
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